Seven Years of Marriage...

The tally marks of anniversaries are added to the wall so quickly.  This year we celebrate seven, which I know is still a baby stage in this life-long commitment, but some days it really feels like we have been together forever {in a good way, wink.}

One of the things that used to scare me about marriage was the thought of losing myself. Not being independent, but not completely depending on someone takes mastery. In the end, I find it is not so much about losing myself, but about him saving me from myself.  Although it pains me to admit it, there have been times when I would have been wrong or embarrassed if he hadn't corrected me.  He makes me a better person.  He makes me braver, and stronger.  And I know that I do that for him, too.

Seven has always been a favorite number, and in marriage it is no different.  The rough patch that was year number six melted into smooth understanding with seven.  All of the places where we struggled to find a middle ground, all those growing pains in unity-- baked just long enough and hot enough to be bountiful bread for us this past year.  If there is any marital advice I feel qualified to give at this point, it is never walk away... even for a night.  Even if you can't agree, or you have been incredibly hurt,... you really should stay.  Abandonment is not a solution.  That is my two cents, anyway.  Fight it out... but never, ever say you are going to leave. {It's actually a little more irritating to say you are not going to move until the issue is resolved, don 't you think? If you feel the need to threaten, that's what I would go with.}

Matt has gone from a life full of training back into the regular work force.  It has not changed his schedule too much yet, but I know he is relieved to not be continually tested and graded.  This also marks four years for me being a stay-at-home mom.  I'll admit, there have been times I've sort of stunk at this; I am learning that as constricting as a schedule can be, I am so much better on one.  Our days are running smoother, and I can fit so much more into them.  I love how the boys get excited about "school" time, and that while my house may not sparkle, it is certainly ready for anyone who pops by.  I'm making strides in this whole homemaker thing.  People who scoff really have no idea...

This year Matt will not be with me on our anniversary, but I have never felt closer to him.  I read an old book recently in which a man proposed saying that he did not have much in the way of money, but he promised that by the evening fire, his face she would always see and hers he would always cherish.  The girl sort of got scared and rejected him... which was sad, but I totally get it.  With the wrong face, that would be a little creepy.  But with the right one, it is the most romantic line ever.  The fact that a man would gladly choose to spend his evenings in what some may deem boring solitude with his spouse, instead of out on more exciting shenanigans is the greatest compliment I can think of.  

Last year, I wrote that I was still a little sad for the loss of our former selves: I mourned the fact that there would be no more first kisses between us and all of the excitement of newness had faded.  This year I am grateful that I can be so fully myself, that I am not squirming in wonder if he really loves me, and I don't have to worry about being judged.  Dating was really a pain, people.  I was pretty stressed, and my heart was broken more than once.  I am so glad that I do not have to go through that anymore.  The comfort of growing old together is probably my favorite joy in this process.  I hope it's one I can continue in for many, many years.